the last two weeks of my pregnancy were tough for me…physically i could barely take care of mariah and i would start having contractions every few days, but they’d go away after a nap. mentally i’d get my hopes up that labor was starting and then be disappointed when it wasn’t the real deal.

on february 1st i woke up around 6am with contractions that were stronger than previous ones and coming more frequently. i thought to myself “i don’t know if i can make it through today…maybe i’ll ask nick to stay home just to help out”. my morning trip to the bathroom revealed some bloody mucus. i knew that meant nothing…we could still have days until lana came. so i decided to time the contractions….5 minutes apart, lasting for 1 minute each. something inside me just knew it was the real thing.

i sent a text to my doula, nick sent in emails to stay home from work, and we started packing our bags. we waited and timed, and prepared until around 11:30 when i really had to stop and breathe through each contraction. at 12:00 we called into the hospital, and we were on our way.

my first check showed that i was at three centimeters and 80% effaced, but i just knew things were going faster than last time (remember, i had a marathon of 34 hours of labor with mariah). contractions in the bed were horrible, so as soon as i could get out i did. i spent around an hour and a half on a birthing ball or standing leaning over onto the bed. my doula did hip and back compressions that helped reduce the pain significantly. things picked up pretty fast. i felt nauseous and dizzy during contractions and soon wanted to check my progress to see if i could move to the waterbirth room.

i was only at five centimeters after two hours in the hospital. i was a little bummed, but they started getting the water ready for me. it wasn’t long after that, when i started feeling some pressure (not quite ready to push, but close). between contractions i made a mad dash for the waterbirth room (it was a requirement that i walk there myself)

once i got in the water things picked up FAST. the only comfortable position was on my hands and knees and i needed my doula’s back compressions for every single contraction.

i should mention that mariah was with us for the entire birth. she did great…thank goodness for netflix on nick’s tablet when she got a little antsy. when i got into the water and my breathing through contractions became moaning and other weird sounds, she laughed at me and mimicked a few of those strange sounds. i wanted her to leave right before i started pushing, (of course i didn’t know i was about to push). nick set her up in the hospital bed with a stuffed animal and a movie and then it was GO TIME.

i pushed a few times on my hands and knees whenever i felt the urge. i had specifically asked to push this way and not have forced/counted pushing like last time. my water broke with a really forceful “pop” during one of the pushes…it was clear, which meant i could deliver in the water. then the midwife wanted me to turn and squat. i thought turning would be impossible, but i did it. and as soon as i was squatting, lana started crowning. i think i pushed maybe two more times and she was out!

i was shocked at how fast she came…only four hours in the hospital and 10 minutes of pushing – woah. and the reason for all my back pain…she was face up!

it was an “easy” and beautiful birth.

then the drama began….

i was out of the water and back into the bed, had been checked out and cleaned up and all that good stuff. i was eating my dinner (because i was starving right after she was born) and visiting with a friend who brought nick and mariah dinner.

i kept having some cramping and i could tell large blood clots were coming out. after about three or four of them, i wanted the nurse to check things out. the nurses went to stand me up and help me to the bathroom, but i never made it. i was dizzy. they said i turned white and green and they laid me back down. i was losing too much blood. i was passing huge blood clots.

all kinds of people came in and all kinds of things took place. pushing to get clots out, checking to see if something had been left behind, an iv was started with pitocin and fluids, and was given a catheter and had medicine inserted in my butt for the first time. i was now confined to the bed and shaking uncontrollably and freezing the entire time.

things calmed down, i stopped shaking, and i got to hold and nurse my sweet little baby again.

then i felt feverish. i indeed had a fever and antibiotics were added my my iv.

then lana’s blood sugar wasn’t what it needed to be (supposed to be 44 and it was 43). i nursed some more in hopes to get it up. no such luck. over the next 24 hours we tried all kinds of methods to get it steady and where it needed to be… we had to supplement with breast milk (because it had more calories than the colostrum i was giving her). she drank breast milk from a little cup, from a tube attached to my breast, from a tube attached to our fingers, and from a bottle. she spent the first night in the special care room. thankfully she never needed an iv, and bottle feeding finally worked. i nursed before she took the breast milk, and pumped to help my milk come in. i was worried she wouldn’t nurse well after all that…but she has proven us wrong.

i’m so glad we chose to birth in a hospital instead of a birth center after all the extra complications after the birth. i know i would’ve been transferred from the birth center and things would have been fine, but having everything in one spot was what i needed.

i’m also so thankful for all the support and prayers we had when things got scary. i was a bit of an emotional wreck the morning after lana was born, wondering how everything would turn out. our families and church family were praying for us and it all turned around so quickly. i also became extremely grateful for my nurses while i spent some time in the hospital alone each day while nick took mariah home for naps and bedtime. nurses are the ultimate servants…wow…so thankful for all their support and care.

ten days later lana was back to her birth weight, eating well, and even giving us a few long stretches of sleep at night. she’s a calm baby…after getting over the ptsd of being poked every time her clothes and diaper came off. (seriously, she HATED it for a few days, and now she’s fine). mariah is crazy about her little sister and wants to touch and hold her all the time. i’m adjusting to being home alone with a toddler and infant all day while running on little sleep and hormonal mood swings. thankfully i have a wonderful husband who is taking excellent care of all three of his girls.

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more photos from my doula/photographer

these are best viewed in full screen (button in lower right hand corner of slideshow)

headband from megan crown photography

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 be sure to check out shawna at styleberry blog and the other ladies taking on project 52 this year.

*obviously i didn’t take these photos…the one on the left was taken by my husband, and the one on the right by my doula, mandi

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 be sure to check out shawna at styleberry blog and the other ladies taking on project 52 this year.

Pin It]]> http://rachelgrayphotography.com/baby-project-52-5/feed/ 0 http://rachelgrayphotography.com/snip-snip-project-52-4/ http://rachelgrayphotography.com/snip-snip-project-52-4/#comments Mon, 30 Jan 2012 19:18:25 +0000 Rachel http://rachelgrayphotography.com/?p=2475

in an effort to distract myself from the fact that i’m still pregnant, i’ve been trying to get more creative with what mariah and i do in the afternoons. i decided i’d teach her how to cut. i surprised myself by not googling “how to teach a toddler to cut” and planning some sort of lesson for her. i just went with it. and it went really well. it took her all of maybe 10 minutes before she was holding the paper on her own and snipping away. then it kept her entertained for a good 20 minutes more.

she’s a natural crafter. i shouldn’t be surprised….it totally runs in the family. but every time we do something new like paint, glue, color or draw, she does it with such precision and skill and it amazes me. makes me wonder what she’ll be like as she grows up.

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 be sure to check out shawna at styleberry blog and the other ladies taking on project 52 this year.

Pin It]]> http://rachelgrayphotography.com/snip-snip-project-52-4/feed/ 0 http://rachelgrayphotography.com/wall-gallery-insipration/ http://rachelgrayphotography.com/wall-gallery-insipration/#comments Tue, 24 Jan 2012 14:50:37 +0000 Rachel http://rachelgrayphotography.com/?p=2404 i’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again….don’t let your precious photos get trapped on your computer. make sure you’re printing and displaying them so you and your family can enjoy them everyday.

easier said than done, right? i’m right there with you. i want to print those photos and have them cover the walls of my home, but sometimes i get stuck wondering where they should go, or how i should arrange them.

thank goodness for pinterest! i started a board in order to inspire me to print those photos and cover my walls.
here are a few of my favorites…

this first one is an idea i pinned a while ago to another board thinking it would work well in our dining room. i’m hoping i can get the hubby on board with it.

i love this one with the clear frames.

Source: laurawinslowphotography.com via Rachel on Pinterest

here’s an idea for lots of quick snapshots.

Source: walkslowlylivewildly.com via Rachel on Pinterest

 

and of course there’s the canvas gallery which i think looks beautiful, but i have a hard time committing to a canvas display since i like to rotate my pictures out frequently (most other photographers will hate me for saying that).  i think for engagement or wedding photos that will always be on your walls, it makes sense to invest in canvas.

Source: jonandleslie.wordpress.com via Rachel on Pinterest

 

 

 

i have a TON of other ideas and inspiration on my pinterest board. be sure to check it out for ideas to incorporate into your own home.

AND  i would love to see the results of how  you display your images. i’d like to share them on the blog to continue the inspiration. feel free to send me a few photos via email with a quick little blurb about why you chose to display them the way you did, and i’ll try to get it up here on the blog.

 

photo credit for feature image: decorchick.com

 

we learned this week that you can’t be a ballerina princess if you’re not wearing a tutu or dress.  you can’t spin and twirl and blink your eyes like a princess if you’re only wearing pants. we’re working to convince her otherwise, reminding her that her dance teachers wear pants and that you’re always a ballerina in your heart. so far we’ve stood our ground to enforce the no tutus at bedtime rule. we’ve also learned that taking away the tutu is far greater a punishment than a time out.

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 be sure to check out shawna at styleberry blog and the other ladies taking on project 52 this year.

i love looking through those old albums, and i have several of my own. oh the hours that went into making each and every one of them!

i made two scrapbooks for mariah…one for her first month and another for the rest of her first year. it was a long process as scrapbooking usually is, but i was so glad to have printed pictures of and for my family. something tangible that brings us together unlike sitting around a computer screen. the only downside – those things are huge!

but then i got lazy busy. my pictures sat on the computer for too long. we printed a few for our photo wall, but that was it.

after much searching and discussion with my husband (who grew up with those slide-in albums), we decided a coffee table book we could make digitally would be the best option. then as i always do, i started researching to find the best company. i’d make a book with blurb.com before, but wasn’t pleased with the quality. i read through this review from the daily digi and this one from digital home pouring over every detail they presented.

final decision….my publisher.

i’m THRILLED with the results. great layout options, outstanding photo colors and page quality (i upgraded to premium paper), beautiful full color cover. there is an option to have lay flat pages, but for me it’s not something i feel i need.

i made my 2010 album in october of 2011, and just completed our 2011 book this month.

take a look at the newest one:

i highly recommend them for your yearly albums, as well as birth story or wedding albums. using the software to drag and drop photos into their layouts is easy as can be. and they ALWAYS have great coupon codes and deals. (both times i waited for the “right” code so i could save 50% on my books)

i could go on and on about them….i’m so happy we decided to make coffee table books and to print with mypublisher.com. and now every year when my mom comes to visit, i’ll have an album for her to page through.

and i’m dying to share her name with you…but you’ll just have to wait a little longer.

 be sure to check out shawna at styleberry blog and the other ladies taking on project 52 this year.

believe it or not, i LOVE the “business” side of my business just as much, and maybe even sometimes more, than the photography side. maybe it’s because it requires lots of planning and strategizing – two of my favorite things. of course being married to a man with a business degree who works in the corporate world adds to my ideas and plans.

i knew when updated my site last spring that it wasn’t a clear representation of me and who i am as a person and photographer. however, i still couldn’t put my finger on what that needed to look like. so, i put a new site out there for the time being and started working on figuring myself out.

thanks to an intense six week online course from kristin at brand camp last april, i started diving into and figuring out what type of photography work satisfies me most, who i am as a person, and where i want to take my business. the process began during that six week course, and continued as i let the ideas and thoughts stew a bit (you know, the whole slowing down a project idea i’m learning about).

one of my favorite exercises during this time was looking at what brands and companies i’m loyal to. why am i loyal to them? what do their websites look like? what are their taglines? you know what i found? phrases like “sense and simplicity” from philips, “quietly brillant” from HTC, LOTS of clean and minamilistic websites from places like coach, tiffany & co,  and IKEA.

it’s funny how doing that exercise FINALLY opened my eyes to other areas of my life where i’m constantly believing “less is more”. for some reason i wasn’t able to see it before. maybe i was distracted by how other photographers and business owners were branded…not that their branding is bad, it’s just not me.

so after lots of thinking, dreaming, and planning, i finally came up with what i feel is a true representation of me. not just in my logo and website design, but also in my presentation of information on the site as well as how i run my business.

i hope each of you are able to see a true reflection of who i am in the way i present my work here on the site and through other materials you receive as clients. because hiring a photographer is SO much more than hiring a person with a fancy camera who knows how to take pictures…it’s about hiring someone you connect with and who you can trust. that’s where those meaningful and breath taking images come from – trusting your photographer and feeling relaxed behind the camera.

i hope the new site and branding, and all this personal blogging i’m adding, allows you to get to know me a little better so our sessions can be spectacular.

last year i began 2011 with a photo every day. it went pretty well until around april when i was discouraged by only being able to take photos indoors before or after work and was beating myself up and feeling like a failure if i missed a day….you missed a day, so your challenge isn’t perfect…that means YOU’RE  not perfect…if you’re not perfect, you’re obviously a failure…just quit you failure. man those little voices in our head sure are messed up sometimes aren’t they? i’m working on beating those voices, but that’s another blog post for another day.

a weekly project seems more achievable to me. and i vow not to give up if i miss a week. perfection is not the goal. documenting my family’s life is the goal.

i wasn’t sure if i wanted to come up with a theme each month or for the entire project, but in the end i decided to simply keep it open making  sure i’m in a good deal of the photos.

so without further ado…project 52.1

by the way…my inspiration for this project came from shawna at styleberry blog check out her craftiness.